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Post by LTrain06 on Dec 7, 2004 19:33:08 GMT -5
What am i? Am I gay? Am I bi? Am I straight? Should I start fucking dogs? Somebody please tell me!!! So I had sex with a girl. Yeah, I had sex...with a girl! Because I've always wanted to go down on a girl. And a guy has never gotten me off in my life. But this girl got me off in like 5 minutes, swear to god. It was great, as in the oral was great, but...I had no desire to kiss this girl, or really touch her anywhere else. Boobs are cool to play with, but they didnt turn me on. So, we've discovered that the sight of pussy gets me off, and pussy is what I think about when I jerk off. BUT I still want to make out with and fool around with guys, I get turned on, but when the penis comes out it's like bam, nothin. And I was actually looking at girls TRYING to develop crushes on them or get excited around them and...I just don't. I have no desire to make out with them. And I still get excited when I see the substitute weather guy on CNN:  So...would somebody please tell me what the hell I am before I come out of the closet and immediately regret it? Thanks. |
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Post by Dane's_Mods_Sux on Dec 7, 2004 19:50:46 GMT -5
WOW. You woman, you!
Where did you find this girl? Was she a friend or stranger? Was she shaved?
I think you are straight...just an in an exploring and experimental stage of your life. If you have no desire to kiss the girl or boobies do not turn you on, then you are not full-fledged gay.
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Post by ILaughAtSex on Dec 7, 2004 20:51:40 GMT -5
Thank you, Dr. Sucker of Danes Mods.
You call it jerking off? Hmm, so you have a penis? You're not offing anything that's being jerked, so it doesn't make sense to me.
While the common man may call that jerking off, it's not. Again, I'm right and you're all losers.
How would you go about lasting 5 minutes with a boy/girl/(male)dog/bitchfriend? You seem to be into anything that walks.
I think something MAY be wrong with your brain, El. You aren't completely attracted to guys, nor girls. PLUS you're partially attracted to dogs. This, combined with you, the once proud grammar nazi of the board, starting off various sentences with "and" and "because" leads me to believe that you, in fact, have suffered partial brain failure.
I don't think there's anything to be alarmed about. We have Dr. Danesmods here. She can fix it.
If not, drink some cranberry juice, have sex with some bent-penised guys... play with some boobies(this is cool!), be a phone sex operator. These are some nice home-remedies I took out from last month's issue of "I'm a big whore" magazine. Try 'em out, let me know if they work!
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Post by LTrain06 on Dec 7, 2004 21:02:01 GMT -5
Thank you, Dr. Sucker of Danes Mods. You call it jerking off? Hmm, so you have a penis? You're not offing anything that's being jerked, so it doesn't make sense to me. While the common man may call that jerking off, it's not. Again, I'm right and you're all losers. How would you go about lasting 5 minutes with a boy/girl/(male)dog/bitchfriend? You seem to be into anything that walks. I think something MAY be wrong with your brain, El. You aren't completely attracted to guys, nor girls. PLUS you're partially attracted to dogs. This, combined with you, the once proud grammar nazi of the board, starting off various sentences with "and" and "because" leads me to believe that you, in fact, have suffered partial brain failure. I don't think there's anything to be alarmed about. We have Dr. Danesmods here. She can fix it. If not, drink some cranberry juice, have sex with some bent-penised guys... play with some boobies(this is cool!), be a phone sex operator. These are some nice home-remedies I took out from last month's issue of "I'm a big whore" magazine. Try 'em out, let me know if they work! He who has never experienced the pleasures of the flesh nor doesnt intend to shall cease speaking. I don't think this question was intended for you, virgin. |
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Post by 2Short on Dec 7, 2004 21:07:20 GMT -5
The "jerking off" joke could have been much funnier, Nick. You should have left that to me or Warren.
El, my suggestion is that you never leave your house again and refrain from all sexual contact. Just like Julie.
This is what's know as a roll.
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Post by Julie on Dec 7, 2004 21:15:07 GMT -5
I have a good idea...maybe we can all fall in 'love' with someone's genitalia so it will fuck us six times daily!!
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Post by ILaughAtSex on Dec 7, 2004 21:41:16 GMT -5
He who has never experienced the pleasures of the flesh nor doesnt intend to shall cease speaking. I don't think this question was intended for you, virgin. You’re so funny, El! I imagined you saying that with a very serious tone, as though it was supposed to be either severe scolding, or some sort of ‘put you in your place, bitch’ kinda thing. I don't not intend to have sex, you're right. I think MAYBE you should look into that partial brain failure, El. It might make the things you say and do less ridiculous. By the way… don't you get feisty with me, adult! I haven't had sex and I'm 17?! Dear lord what the fuck is the matter with me? Virgin?! OH FUCK! Put down that verbal shotgun, El! I don't think I can take much more. You=laughable. |
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Post by Dane's_Mods_Sux on Dec 7, 2004 21:44:52 GMT -5
We have Dr. Danesmods here. She can fix it. Thanks, Nick. I sensed your heart-felt sincerity there. And cranberry juice IS the cure for everything, even homosexuality (well, actually CranApple is best for that). |
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Post by Cheese on Dec 7, 2004 21:51:42 GMT -5
WOW. You woman, you! Where did you find this girl? Was she a friend or stranger? Was she shaved? I think you are straight...just an in an exploring and experimental stage of your life. If you have no desire to kiss the girl or boobies do not turn you on, then you are not full-fledged gay. Coming from a half-gay. I agree with her. I like boobs... they're nice. Thanks, Nick. I sensed your heart-felt sincerity there. And cranberry juice IS the cure for everything, even homosexuality (well, actually CranApple is best for that). CRANCHOPS! Back off there cranberry man... |
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Post by NonDylan on Dec 7, 2004 23:28:04 GMT -5
I'm coming in late to this.
Am I to understand that LTRAIN has a shaft-shaped vagina capable of being jerked off?
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Post by Macha on Dec 8, 2004 1:47:44 GMT -5
It was bound to happen one day.
El, I say are you a flaming homosexual. Never EVER touch a man again.
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Post by 2Short on Dec 8, 2004 11:19:55 GMT -5
IMO (AOL), El is straight. If there's no urge to make out or have a relationship, then you're not gay. Hmm, sounds like Nick...
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Post by LTrain06 on Dec 8, 2004 18:06:13 GMT -5
but I think Nick DOES want to make out with boys. He's just not admitting it. Nick, this turns you on, you know it:  |
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Post by censored on Dec 10, 2004 3:04:28 GMT -5
Id say your borderline gay.
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Post by Cheese on Dec 10, 2004 11:47:20 GMT -5
Id say your borderline gay. She can't be borderline gay. If you like girls, you like boobs. El does not like boobs. She's not even close to gay. She just likes the big V. Which totally confused Augusta by the way. Isn't there a word for this? I think I read it online somewhere... striaght girls liking to have sex with other girls, but they aren't bi. They just like the pussy. I dunno El... I think you're straight and you just like pussy. Maybe you need to find a he/she? |
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