shit.

[Julie]

We all do it. There is an 'ass sex' thread and a maggot penis picture, so I assume nothing is too gross for this board. Anyone have any shit stories? I'll start.

I went to a big party at my best friend's house and it was one of those semi-dressy things, right? Well, I ate something that did NOT agree with me. I have a very sensitive stomach, so I should have known, but I was a retarded idiot and ate it anyways. I go to the bathroom, and really go. I try to flush and all that happens is the water rises, bringing with it, the shit. There was no plunger and the party was right outside the door, so I couldnt make it to another bathroom in search of a plunger, so what did I do? I got a wad of toilet paper and extracted the shit by hand and disposed of it into the trashcan. I washed up and then emerged from the bathroom and found my friend and told him the toilet was overflowing, 'but all I did was pee.'

I hate it when you shit and it isnt a clean break and there is some smearing action. Every time I shit, I am in high hopes that everything broke clean, because I just dont want to deal with the alternative.

[Macha]

Of course YOU start the thread.

I am a private shitter, I don't shit in public and it grosses me out when my roommate shits 4 times a day with her door open.

I don't like talking about it, and I am choosing not to.

[Julie]

I like God of Wine by Third Eye Blind. It makes me do some kind of interpretive dance looking dance in my chair. Care to comment on THAT?

I thought it was shitty that ol CockMeister said that you 'MUST' stay on topic in the thread. What the fuck does it matter? People are going to read it no matter where it is, conversation just naturally flows to other topics. See, here we start with shit and move to god of wine. it's just what happens.

[noshit]

I LOVE 3EB.. i saw them two weeks ago.. YAY! sorry, but im in love with them! anywhoo... i dont shit.. well i do.. but its only twice a week.. and i WILL NOT go in public.. i like my toilet.. so yeah.. i did have a shit once that was literally a foot long.. and had to be broken to flush.. but ill get into that another day.

[NonDylan]

Everybody in life needs to read David Sedaris' short story, "Big Boy."

This is the biggest excerpt I could find.

www.keepmedia.com/ShowItemDetails.do?item_id=171655&extID=10026

[Julie]

I thought about that story when I read that. I loved the 'break it up into manageable pieces with the plunger'...Dave Sedaris is wonderful.

[noshit]

Warren, i love you! LOL.. nice story! it was all me! all ME!

[NonDylan]

I will quote the best part of the story from the copy I own:

"I seriously considered lifting this turd out of the toilet and tossing it out the window. It honestly crossed my mind, but John lived on the ground floor and a dozen people were seated at a picnic table ten feet away. They'd see the window open and notice something dropping to the ground. And these were people who would surely gather round and investigate. Then there I'd be with my unspeakably filthy hands, trying to explain that it wasn't mine. But why bother throwing it out the window if it wasn't mine? No one would have believed me except the person who had left it in the first place, and chances were pretty slim that the freak in question would suddenly step forward and own up to it. I was trapped."

[sonshine76]

[glow=Brown,2,300]Everything I write in this thread will be this color.
Sedaris is hilarious. <--rhyming coincidence? I don't think so.[/glow]
or maybe this color

[pete]

sonshine76 said:

[glow=Brown,2,300]Everything I write in this thread will be this color.
Sedaris is hilarious. <--rhyming coincidence? I don't think so.[/glow]
or maybe this color

will be in what color?

[Cheese]

Cheese?

[noshit]

i like cheese.

[Cheese]

Meeee tooooo. A lot. Bree rocks.

[Julie]

only when its heated up...thats the 'shit'...hmmn, how weird, I brought the conversation back to shit.

[Cheese]

lol it really is the shit. my (gay) friend joey think its looks like cum so when we had it at my dad's house he couldn't eat it without laughing. Silly boys.