|
Post by Macha on Jun 11, 2004 13:56:36 GMT -5
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."
|
|
|
Post by Macha on Jun 11, 2004 14:31:46 GMT -5
A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating.
The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. “Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?” he asks.
The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions: “First, I don’t want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this.” The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third.
“Well,” says the janitor, “I’m gonna need another week to come up with the $500.”<br>
|
|
|
Post by pete on Jun 11, 2004 14:34:10 GMT -5
you have gone over 500,. you crazy postin bitch! WAY TO GO!
|
|
|
Post by Stinkfist on Jun 11, 2004 14:44:43 GMT -5
so a baby seal walks into a club...
-stink
|
|
|
Post by Macha on Jun 11, 2004 14:51:37 GMT -5
you have gone over 500,. you crazy postin bitch! WAY TO GO!Holy shit, I didn't even notice.. Thanks babe! CATCH UP!
|
|
|
Post by pete on Jun 11, 2004 14:52:50 GMT -5
Holy shit, I didn't even notice.. Thanks babe! CATCH UP! i'm tryin'. its hard to catch up to you. and its my board. at least im number 2!!
|
|
|
Post by Macha on Jun 11, 2004 14:56:14 GMT -5
Well i'm going to NY/Miami for 3 weeks with not as much computer access.
You can do it. Then I will come home and ass rape you.
|
|
|
Post by pete on Jun 11, 2004 14:58:57 GMT -5
Well i'm going to NY/Miami for 3 weeks with not as much computer access. You can do it. Then I will come home and ass rape you. three weeks huh, i guess i cna pull this off. maybe. and i'll have to beat it good. hahaha , i gotta beat it good, and hard. i shall try to beat it.
|
|
|
Post by 2Short on Jun 11, 2004 16:00:16 GMT -5
His penis.
|
|
|
Post by sonshine76 on Jun 11, 2004 16:38:07 GMT -5
Michael Jackson.
|
|
|
Post by censored on Jun 11, 2004 22:35:02 GMT -5
O.J did it.
|
|
|
Post by pete on Jun 11, 2004 23:42:32 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by mandah on Jun 12, 2004 0:55:20 GMT -5
...?
|
|
|
Post by Macha on Jun 12, 2004 7:16:48 GMT -5
Back to the fucking jokes.
This old couple is ready to go to sleep so the old man lays on the bed but the old woman lays on the floor. The old man asks, ''''Why are you going to sleep on the floor?''''
The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
|
|
|
Post by Stinkfist on Jun 12, 2004 12:10:38 GMT -5
Ok, so there is a penguin whose car breaks down in this small town. He goes to the mechanic and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour to fix. While he's waiting, the penguin goes and gets some ice cream. Because he has no opposeable thumbs, he has trouble eating it and gets it all over himself. He goes back to the mechanic and the mechanic says "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says "No, it's just ice cream."
-stink
|
|