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Post by sonshine76 on May 19, 2004 13:31:13 GMT -5
"you bring out the boring white guy in me" by Jim Daniels made me laugh.
You guys have inspired me to write more.
Julie, my assumption is that if there is no author annotated then we are the authors. Unless you are a hack bastardass.
"Poets are people who muddy their waters to appear deep." --Nietzsche I prefer to think that we elaborate on the obvious with a new perspective. What's up with that, Nietzsche-I have too many consonants in a row to be legal-philosopher?
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Post by NonDylan on May 19, 2004 14:27:30 GMT -5
Nobody with a mustache like Nietzsche's need be trusted.
Jim Daniels,
The Day After
the worst snowstorm in years, a horn blares--a stuck cab blocks the street, the guy in the car behind leans on his horn then stomps out and starts pounding on the cabbie's door shouting move it move your fucking car and the cabbie's saying I'm stuck and the guy's screaming try it you're not stuck and the cabbie opens his door and the guy hits him in the face and throws snow at him and the cabbie says he's gonna call the cops and the guy says call the cops fucking call the cops and the cabbie says I'm gonna get my gun and he goes around to his back door and the other guy starts running back to his car until it occurs to him that the cabbie's bluffing because he's stopped with his hand on his back door so the guy charges back saying get your gun get your fucking gun but the cabbie don't move because he ain't go a gun so they guy starts throwing snow at him again and shouting move, motherfucker, let's see your gun but he ain't got no gun so the guy keeps taunting him let's see your fucking gun and punches the cabbie in the face then gets in his car and rear ends the cab till it's out of his way and speeds off and the cabbie's alone in the street shouting next time I'll have a gun next time I'll have a fucking gun.
[this poem makes me want to eat children.]
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Post by pete on May 19, 2004 16:54:05 GMT -5
the number poem, by me
1 1 2 1 2 3 1 5 9 what we ate? 69 25 82 nevermind sexy 4 slippy 7 89 1 22 55 suck 66 you live for 0 X X X the end.
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Post by Macha on May 19, 2004 21:50:53 GMT -5
Pete, The End is the best line in every one of your poems.
No dude, just pullin ya chain. But seriously, 'The End' is the best part.
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Post by ILaughAtSex on May 19, 2004 22:23:07 GMT -5
Pete, The End is the best line in every one of your poems. No dude, just pullin ya chain. But seriously, 'The End' is the best part. What are you talking about??? Pete writes the best poetry ever... That last one on the numbers, I really felt it. No I didn't... sorry...
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Post by 2Short on May 19, 2004 23:32:29 GMT -5
While talking to Sunshine, she said that she was writing a poem about me. I'm waiting. She also asked me to post something that I've written. Here is my latest poem.
Warning: If you read this and brush it off as a "God poem" you are clearly an idiot.
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Family Mass
A parade of horribles Marches its way through the heavy double doors Strapping on their masks of holy elitism
You may be seated.
By the time the priest has spoken these words I am metacognitively aware That all I do in church is observe And think about sex
Everybody here has a connection that my spirituality cannot produce It is both deeper and more superficial than I can be There are one hundred and seventy-one lights on –I counted Creating a makeshift heaven A single light is broken, producing an affinity that resonates in my soul
Ben Stein’s brother plays the guitar And sings about religious excitement A message that I refuse to accept in monotone
We praise you, we bless you, we tha-ank you.
A child reads the homily And learns to read at the same time “th-the l-l-lord is g-good”<br> I am suddenly aware that I am the only person wearing red And wonder if I am now obligated to impale the priest upon a cross Before slow-roasting him over the candles To char away his assumed superiority
Be not afraid. I go before you always.
As part of the queue I am on display to everybody sitting A conveyor belt complete with inspectors Until I take the phantom cracker –the wraith wafer
I am not comfortable eating the body of Christ That associates cannibalism with Catholicism I would much rather kiss the cross to show devotion
Halleluiah, halleluiah, halle-e-luiah.
After kneeling and saying as many Our Fathers as I can Before everybody else sits down At least one child is crying Probably prodded or poked by a brother
Little children look at religious picture books while their parents attend their babies The pictures are of child angels Of course with wings, but also flat-topped blonde hair Their parents point out, “See, they look just like you.”<br> The priest has had forty-five minutes To establish a connection between myself and the divine But like a true Christian he sacrifices meaning For the sake of family
How great thou art, how great thou art.
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I think I have just reserved my spot in hell.
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Post by pete on May 20, 2004 19:43:53 GMT -5
heres my latest poem...
"Blind"
Are you ready?!
This place inside my mind, a place I like to hide You don't know the chances. What if I should die?! A place inside my brain, another kind of pain You don't know the chances. I'm so blind!
Another place I find to escape the pain inside You don't know the chances. What if I should die?! A place inside my brain, another kind of pain You don't know the chances. I'm so blind!
Deeper and deeper and deeper as I journey to live a life that seems to be a lost reality that can never find a way to reach. My inner selfesteem is low. How deep can I go in the ground that I lay? If I don't find a way to see through the gray that clouds my mind. This time I look to see what's between the lines!
I can see, I can see, I'm going blind... I'm blind
The End.
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Post by sonshine76 on May 21, 2004 15:20:15 GMT -5
ODE TO MY RECRUITER Cal, TooShort, Warren's Cambodian sex slave, You were banned by Dane Cook because you didn't behave. That's what he said, but all of us don't agree! What is it that causes your discolored pee? I couldn't imagine this board without you Even though you like to make fun of the Jews And post dirty assed boys dog kicking too Your 9 point 5 inch penis belongs in a zoo. You tell me they tell you to look like Brad Pitt Even though you are sweet, and buff with quick wit. A thinker- philosopher with an italian happy trail Screw your dad's expectations of you to fail! Warren has graduated and went on his way I hope your roomate next year isn't gay. I'm sure you'll stay friends and keep on talkin This smiley looks like Christopher Walken I have you to thank for recruiting me here As do others and if you drank, I'd buy you a beer So keep on posting, you funny little man Because on this board with Pete you will never get banned.
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Post by Macha on May 22, 2004 7:18:27 GMT -5
I don't see it. Maybe Kevin Spacey.
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Post by censored on May 22, 2004 7:20:29 GMT -5
If you dont see it, wouldnt it be Kevin Bacon?
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Post by pete on May 22, 2004 8:34:10 GMT -5
I don't see it. Maybe Kevin Spacey. i do. it would be a whole lot easier to tell if the smiley had crazy grey hair like him.
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Post by Macha on May 22, 2004 8:42:23 GMT -5
Here is one my sister wrote. She is 9.
Sunset On A Cool Fall Day By Allyson S. Gruber
The light slowly fades as the darkness grabs it from behind. Now it is dark. The wind moves the trees as they cast their scary shadows. The dark, dark night and the cool fall breeze give you the chills as you watch the cars go by. The street lights flicker on at you. You get scared. You run inside. As you look out the window, you see little baby squirrels run by into their warm, cozy homes in the trees. It makes you sleepy. You go to bed and dream about the great evening.
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Post by 2Short on May 22, 2004 13:45:12 GMT -5
The worst part of that poem is your sister's name.
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Post by Macha on May 22, 2004 13:52:09 GMT -5
Done.
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Post by LTrain06 on May 22, 2004 19:58:11 GMT -5
Don't be so quick to walk away (come on just dance wit me) I wanna rock your body please stay (come on, dance with me) you don't have to admit you wanna play (wanna play? just dance wit me) let me rock you to the break of day (dance with me)
sorry...just felt like throwing you guys off with, what the hell? what... whaaaa??
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