The Best/Worst Night of My Life

[2Short]

Last night was the best and worst night of my life at the same time. I went over to this girl Abigail's apartment, who I've had a thing for since last spring. She is by far the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Ever. Anyway, we've hung out a few times at her apartment where she put together a very elaborate floor picnic, but we've never taken it to the physical level. Last night we did. There were many factors leading up to the worst night of my life:

-had wine
-had about eight too many cigarettes
-when we first started making out she was kind of humping my stomach, which made me almost sea sick
-when I kissed her, her breath tasted of the wine and for some reason I really wasn't enjoying the taste from her mouth
-the condom was too tight (I need the magnums)
-I was nervous as hell due to her hotness

All of this equates to me only being able to keep my hard on for about 5 minutes. I wanted to kill myself. Here I was fucking the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I went limp for the first time in my life.

However, it wasn't all bad. The following things were good:

-she made a comment about me being a tease because I had a huge dick, but she couldn't enjoy it (ego rub)
-the head she gave me was honestly better than any sex I've ever had
-I performed some top notch cunnilingus which almost ended in my head getting squeezed off
-I had my first experience with a girl who shaves
-she said that she really liked me and that she'd give me a second chance
-I slept over and spooning with her was nice
-saw the hottest girl ever naked

Ooooh, and I honestly think that right now, as I type, I'm getting a delayed case of blue balls.

Updates to follow.

[NonDylan]

Dude, it was the wine.

You had what we like to call in the force, whiskey dick.

It's hard to keep a crunk dick hard.

[Julie]

I will be waiting for the dates of upness. This is what dreams are made of. The dirty kind.

Smoking stunts your growth, 2Short.

[2Short]

Spent the night there again last night.

Couldn't get it up again.

Fingered her like a champ, though.

I hate myself.

[Macha]

2Short said:

Spent the night there again last night.

Couldn't get it up again.

Fingered her like a champ, though.

I hate myself.

That must be embarassing. And who -just- fingers a girl anymore. Fuck that shit.



Oh wait..you can't.

Nothing but ball busting love.

[2Short]

Went to the doctor.

He said it was stress and lack of sleep.

I'm sure Abigail will understand.

....fucking great.

[Ltrain06]

Get the magnums, GET THE MAGNUMS!!

does it help to think she's ugly?

[2Short]

The king has returned.

Once last night and once this morning.

It was unbelivable.

Problem solved.

[Dane's_Mods_Sux]

SWEET!

[Cheese]

fun times...ahoy?

[NonDylan]

once and future

[2Short]

So now that Warren has met Abigail (dinner at the Texas Roadhouse(not in Texas)), would you care to share with all of these nice people just how goddamn cool she is?

And beautiful, too. Don't leave that out, Warren.

[Julie]

Also Warren, is it weird dining with Calvin and Abegnale knowing that before the day steak and 'loaded-but-not-really' potato were in his mouth, her lady nectar was?

[censored]

Julie said:

Also Warren, is it weird dining with Calvin and Abegnale knowing that before the day steak and 'loaded-but-not-really' potato were in his mouth, her lady nectar was?

Took the words right out of my mouth.

[NonDylan]

Julie said:

Also Warren, is it weird dining with Calvin and Abegnale knowing that before the day steak and 'loaded-but-not-really' potato were in his mouth, her lady nectar was?

I made them do it on the table. Right on those damn tastey rolls.